Ever feel less than concerning you and your abilities?
I am an individual full of amazing qualities. I have so many good qualities within me that rang in the 6's, 7's, and 8's that when graded on "the Curb of Life" ....I'm a 10 and 11's on most days.
I love me some me. I love me some you, yet I don't love either of us enough to fight to stand out an the crowd. I have lost my "Deerfield Beach High School Edge" ....No Pan, No Gain. Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained! And internally I suffer from this inability to grasp life by the neck and induce my will upon it, or persuade it to reveal its will to me and engage in the joy of being a flicker in the flame of the eternal fire.
...I exaggerate. Live loves me and I the same. However the same as in a growing within a peer group. Someones will be left behind because they are not maturing. Well, at least they should be left behind though not alienated, because "they are Not Maturing."
I believe in Life Eternal, not as a Religious Doctrine, not at all, rather thru our innate sense of and my critical understanding of Our Spiritual Coexistance. This to say. I am certain that I am at a growth place and am not exercising the same tenacity of a 17 or 18yrs old human because of experiences in our very limited perception of a humans lifetime.
So here is HOW I should be/ am to be responding. ROBUSTLY!
I certainly feel in this moment that I am of my 18yrs old Deerfield Beach High Self inside of my physical 32 year old frame. Maybe the issue is that I should move into my 23 year old frame and make better decisions. 23 was the year I became a father! The year I became the husband to a wonder-filled woman: a loyal sexy oriental tomboy. I failed conventionally toward them both in that I did not know how to include them in my dreams, sigh. Here I am sitting on "GO" and unlike others I'm collecting $400 on this go around and I am without the inspiration to proceed productively with....
At this point I am to get over my jade sponsored by my association with creeps such at Tom Karenshak, if only I had been able to express myself to the executive such as Ms. Lisa Hook who would later lead the Pen Faulkner Foundation. So much for a creative such as myself being able to get past the Glenngerry Glen Ross and The Boiler Room ambitious archetypes. I was evidently just a creative, however now to excel I must compel myself and be compelling regardless of the turns in the road.
My FAULT... I imagine but I do not work on a project o my own to the point of its success or fail. I am an underpaid point guard delivers alley-oops to to Managment. I enable managers to be successful. I assist and rebound... I do not finish. I should play through, be the Jason Kidd that transforms into a Charles Barkley and finishes at the Rim.
I am not complaining.
This is the end of Not Finishing
This is the beginning of Myself.
Walking without an ego is idiotic.
No more Idiodic over Self.
Ego over Arrgance.
Arrogance Thropies to the Self.
Ego over My Privilege.
Privilege is the Life lived, Someone Else.
Life is not something what's Left,
Life is "something ELSE...!"
Delshawn F.M. Prejean
LCpl/USMC
MATCS-18
So tell me...
How Much is that Doggy in the Window?
(Flowing through, edited) 7:21pm @ Gili's Kitchen Adams Street Jacksonville, FL 6 Tevet 5783)
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